Heirloom Bean Update.

This post came out during a week when we were all closely watching the news for President Trump Covid status updates. But I was also watching to see which heirloom beans would sprout, so that was a pretty intense week all around.

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Mixed Heirloom Bean Soup. Maybe Heirloom Beans are More Magical Than I Realized.

Heirloom Bean and Potato Soup,  
The more you eat the more you toot...

There I said it. Let’s just get it right out of the way. The elephant in the room, when it comes to bean recipes, is the fart situation. I am one of those people who sees “beans” and thinks “toots”. I’m pretty sure it all goes back to a friend I had in college who turned vegetarian halfway through junior year. The next thing we knew, he was eating beans by the poundful and suddenly unbearable to be around. It ruined me on beans, sadly. Actually it ruined me on vegetarians, too, now that I think about it.

I was happy to never eat beans again. Until last week. Because somehow along the way, I have also turned into a vegetarian. And much more importantly, because a package of magical beans showed up on my doorstop. Like something out of a fairytale.

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Kohlrabi. What is this Weird Thing and How Did it Get Into My Indoor Garden?

I was growing celery for the second time in the Tub Garden. Or so I thought. The first time I grew celery, I accidentally pulled it up way too early, thinking it was a mislabelled parsnip. Once I saw that there was no parsnip at the bottom, I smelled it and immediately realized it was a half-grown celery. Dangit. That’s three months down the drain.

So this time, it was labelled very clearly “CELERY!” and growing quite vigorously. Fool proof. But then it started to look weird, and very un-celery-like. First of all, the stem was red-purple, like a beet. And then a little pod swelled up, hovering just above the soil. On one of them. And at this point, I realized this was not celery. This was something I’d never seen before. The Tub Garden was growing a kohlrabi.

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I Heart Cilantro.

Black licorice, country music, blue cheese, skinny jeans, Trump…and Cilantro.

What do the things on this list have in common? They’re polarizing. These are things that we tend to either really love, or absolutely hate. And Cilantro fits right in, since it is one of the most hotly contested herbs in the history of herbs. People either love it, or are repulsed by it. There seems to be no middle ground.

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Vegetarian meatballs in a swedish-style sauce shot from over the table, with serving spoons on a wooden background

The Special Problem of Onions.

And…the frustrated invention of Bulbless-Onion Bulgur Balls.

Onions are a special and unique headache for the indoor gardener, because they are finicky canaries in the proverbial coal mine. Just when you think you are dominating like Mother Nature in your indoor garden, onions will be the vegetable to tell you maybe aren’t doing such a hot job.

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